Sunday Run

Do you ever wonder if all the energy in the universe is being sucked up by something else bigger and nothing is left for you?
Let me explain this a little further with a recent experience. October 7th- 32k run scheduled. This will be the last time we go this far before the actual Dublin marathon. I could have stayed in bed easily, as I was incredibly tired, but we also had a house full of family coming and a turkey to cook (which we are very thankful for).
So 6am we are up and filling our water bottles and exchanging our running routes with one another. I was having a hard time waking up.
Interestingly enough, this day was also a big race day with the Okanagan BMO marathon, Victoria Goodlife Fitness marathon, Chicago marathon, and Grizzley ultra, just to name a few. Lots of people racing, all basking in their race energy, and all graduating from their training at the same time. I felt excited for those I knew going out to race, but I was still so tired.
I shook it off. My mind knew this was going to be hard and it kept trying to convince my body to feel the same. I started out in my first kilometer too fast which is nothing new. What I found interesting, and just a little unnerving was that I felt like if I closed my eyes, I could just fall asleep while running. My body felt great, and there was no pain or fatigue, or difficulty holding my pace, I just wanted to sleep.
I do always fall asleep in the passenger seat when we are on a road trip, and during movies all the time, but never during running before. I started to think about all the racers, and the possibility that they had all the energy and running spirit. At about 4k in, I thought about going home. I was beginning to wonder if something was physically wrong with me. I shook it off again, as I was beginning to feel like my head was playing tricks on me.
Just past the 8k mark, I started my "I am strong, I am an athlete, I feel great" mantra. Sometimes it helps me push past pain in tough workouts. I've never had to use it to wake up before. Then I saw a family of deer and I felt lucky to be able to experience that.
For the first time ever on a run, I felt lonely.
Things started to get a little better at my refueling station (my parked car) at about 13k. I faught the urge to just jump in it and go home. Again, I shook it off, but started to feel queezy a few kilometers later. I started daydreaming again as much as I could. I was finally beginning to wake up and my legs felt great, so I kept on going.
Pitstop number two included a bathroom break, and a water bottle fill. I knew that I was more than two thirds done and that encouraged me that I wasn't actually sick. I was winning the mental game. After kilometer 25, I gained energy and felt as though I just began. That is when my thoughts started wandering again to the racers. The majority were probably done by now and the energy I was calling on was finally free to come and help me.
Or I had just won the most persistent battle I have had with my mind and body and pushed through. Yes, I am ready for the marathon, I have some fine tuning to do yet, but I know my mind will be strong.

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